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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25764373">Not Dead Yet</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock'>NamelesslyNightlock</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Going Down Swinging [70]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Apples of Idunn, Brotherly Bonding, Common Cold, Declarations Of Love, Desperation, Dramatic Tony Stark, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) is a Good Bro, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Gets a Hug (Marvel), M/M, Misunderstandings, Protective Loki (Marvel), Romantic Fluff, Sick Character, Sick Tony Stark, Sneaky Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Understanding, Worried Loki (Marvel), Worried Thor (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:40:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,600</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25764373</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony whines that he feels like he’s dying. Loki takes it a bit too literally.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki &amp; Thor (Marvel), Loki/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Going Down Swinging [70]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330490</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>513</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not Dead Yet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I feel like this needs some kind of disclaimer- I wrote this last May, as in, May 2019, when both STARSdidathing and I had bad colds and were whining at each other, and posting it now is entirely a coincidence dictated by the order of the prompts 😆<br/><br/><b>Prompt</b>— <i>“I can’t do this on my own.”</i></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Loki walked into the penthouse late one afternoon to find that Anthony was still in bed, he was not immediately worried. After all, Anthony had a very different sleeping schedule to most Midgardians, and would more often than not still be asleep at midday after spending several nights running in the workshop.</p><p>But when he entered the bedroom to find Anthony’s sheets twisted over his body as if he couldn’t decide whether he was hot or cold, his skin pale and his nose a flaming red– Loki knew that there was something wrong.</p><p>“Anthony?” Loki asked, crossing the room in a few quick strides and reaching out—</p><p>“’nt touch me, Lokes,” Anthony mumbled, his voice hoarse and scratchy. “You migh’ catch it.”</p><p>
  <em>Catch it?</em>
</p><p>Loki’s eyes widened. It wasn’t often that Asgardians were struck with sickness, but that did not mean that he wasn’t aware of how serious such maladies could be. “What is it?” he asked, instantly concerned. “Anthony, what is it that ails you?”</p><p>Anthony groaned, burying his head deeper under the covers as if the sound of Loki’s voice pained him, muttering something that Loki couldn’t hear.</p><p>“Anthony?” Loki asked again, feeling more and more worried by the second.</p><p>Anthony’s next words were muffled, but clear enough for Loki to hear. “I’m <em>dying</em>.”</p><p>“<em>Dying?”</em> Loki’s heart stopped, his breath catching in his throat. Surely… surely that was an exaggeration? Anthony couldn’t be dying, not truly, not <em>now</em>.</p><p>But Loki <em>knew</em> Anthony. He had seen the man suffer through grievous wounds in battle and brush them off as if they were nothing but a scratch. If Anthony claimed that he was dying, then… he could only be telling the truth.</p><p>Loki shuddered, his whole body aching, his heart feeling like it was tearing into finer shreds with every beat.</p><p>It wasn’t just Anthony’s <em>words</em> that worried him, because Anthony was not acting like himself. He wasn’t rambling like he always would, his fingers weren’t tapping in a rhythm against his leg as if he could not stay still, his eyes were not alert and flicking about the room as if analysing every little thing. Instead, Anthony was quiet, his breaths shaking, and his usually sharp mind muddled. It truly did seem like Anthony was nearing his end, and Loki felt like his heart was about to rip from his chest. He had always known that without action their time together would be limited, but not as limited as <em>this</em>. Loki had yet to even begin his attempts to convince the Allfather to gift him with one of Iðunn’s apples, because Loki had thought they still had years, <em>decades</em>, perhaps, before Anthony’s mortal life would come to its natural end. This was much too soon.</p><p>Loki had sworn many times that he would always protect Anthony, would always keep him safe. But this wasn’t something Loki could fight.</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>No, Loki was not going to give up, not when he knew that Anthony never would if their positions were reversed.</p><p>Not with Anthony’s life on the line.</p><p>There had to be a way to fix this. There had to be– and maybe, just <em>maybe</em>, Loki’s errant thoughts had provided the answer.</p><p>Even though he had long since been aware of the issues surrounding Anthony’s mortality, Loki had never asked for an apple before. He had never wished to beg or plead, and had been planning to concoct a way to gain what he wanted without needing to lower himself to such desperate lengths. But if this was the only way to save Anthony’s life, then Loki would be willing to prostrate himself before Odin if need be.</p><p>Loki ran gentle fingers through Anthony’s hair, knowing that he could not waste time, not when he did not know how much of it Anthony had left.</p><p>Anthony glanced up from under his covers then, his eyes blinking, unfocused. “Lo’?” he asked. “You’re… still here?”</p><p>“Of course I am,” Loki whispered, his heart still stuttering, and he was sure he lost the battle to keep his voice steady.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Lokes, it’s jus’ a cold,” Anthony whispered. Then he groaned again, squinting at the lights as if they had personally offended him before squeezing his eyes closed once again. “’m not dead <em>yet</em>, but it sure feels like it. Maybe’m only <em>mostly</em> dead.”</p><p>A… a cold? It was such a simple word for an ailment that was clearly anything but.</p><p>Loki fought against the tremble in his hand as he stroked over Anthony’s forehead– and warm, not exactly burning to the touch but nothing like what the word ‘cold’ would have suggested, either.</p><p>Shaking the thought from his mind, Loki turned back to something more important than the name of the beast which was fighting hard to bring Anthony down.  </p><p>“I’m going to go for a while,” Loki said, the words tasting bitter and cruel on the tip of his tongue. Anthony whined and curled his fingers around Loki’s spare wrist, but Loki hushed him with a gentle stroke through his hair. “Not for long,” he swore. “I will not leave this tower, and I will be back soon, I promise you.”</p><p>Loki didn’t <em>want</em> to leave Anthony’s side, for what if this was the last chance he had? He didn’t know anything about this sickness, he didn’t know how soon it would take Anthony from him– but he could not do anything to help from Anthony’s sickbed. If he wanted to do something that might make a difference, then he needed to be able to leave, at least for a short while.</p><p>Still, with Anthony clinging to Loki’s wrist as he was, it was more difficult than words could describe to even begin to pull away. So, Loki stayed a few moments longer, feeling the heavy press of every one of Anthony’s coughs against his own chest, as if they were reminding him of how much was at stake.</p><p>Thankfully, it did not take long for Anthony to be drawn into a restless sleep, and then Loki reluctantly but determinately tore himself away.</p><p>“JARVIS,” he said the moment he had swept through the door. “Have Thor meet me in the living room. And make sure that none of the other Avengers are there.”</p><p>“Mr Liesmith,” JARVIS said, his voice almost tentative. “You must know that this sickness is—”</p><p>“I know,” Loki snapped, not wanting to hear JARVIS say that it was uncurable. Not out loud, not when Loki had already worked out the ugly truth. “But that does not mean that I will not <em>try.” </em>Loki paused for a moment, and drew a deep breath. He knew he was being unnecessarily harsh– after all, JARVIS was no doubt suffering as well, knowing his creator’s fate. “Do not worry, JARVIS,” he sighed, forcing himself to soften. “If all goes well, I will have a way to not only heal Anthony, but to ensure that something like this never ails him again.”</p><p>There was a moment where Loki worried for the answer he would receive, for JARVIS remained quiet and the silence felt louder than simple hesitation. But, seemingly against the odds—</p><p>“Mr Odinson is the kitchen,” JARVIS eventually said. “He is moving to the living room as we speak.”</p><p>Loki thanked him, and then, not wanting to waste any time, used his seiðr to travel instantly to the common floor below.</p><p>Thor appeared concerned as he approached, his strides hastier than usual. He was wearing Midgardian clothes and his hair was pulled back, which made it easy to see his frown as he caught sight of the state Loki was in.</p><p>“Thor,” Loki said, hearing his own desperation and not caring enough to curb it.</p><p>“Loki,” Thor greeted in reply, his frown deepening. “What has happened?”</p><p>“It’s Anthony,” Loki said, not willing to beat around the bush. “He is sick, Thor, he’s <em>dying</em>, and– there is nothing that I can do.”</p><p>“You want one of Iðunn’s apples,” Thor said, catching on immediately.</p><p>“Please, I beg you, he doesn’t have much time,” Loki pleaded. “I know that I mocked you once for your love of a mortal, and that it must seem like a balance of the Norns that I am suffering now as I once predicted you would. But please, there is one thing that can save him now and you know that they will never give it to <em>me</em>. Thor, I can’t do this on my own.”</p><p>Thor considered him for only a moment, and there was barely any hesitation in his tone as he asked– “You are sure that he is dying?”</p><p>“Yes,” Loki said. “He told me so himself. Please, Thor, I do not know how much time he has. He said that he feels like he’s dead already.”</p><p>“Then I shall get you what you need,” Thor said strongly. “Loki, I will make sure—”</p><p>“It shall not be easy,” Loki warned, knowing that it would not scare Thor off, and not wanting him to approach the situation while brimming with overconfidence. “Odin will not wish to gift me such a—”</p><p>“Brother,” Thor said firmly, reaching out to clasp Loki’s neck just like he used to when they were younger. His blue eyes burned with an echo of thunder as he once again promised, “I will get you what you need.”  </p><p>Loki felt a flood of relief, his knees going weak, legs almost collapsing out from under him. He still could not be certain that Odin would grant him this, especially not after all he had done, but he <em>knew</em> that Thor was not the kind of person who would give up after giving his vow. Thor would fight tooth and nail for this, and not only because Loki had asked, or because he didn’t want to let Loki down– but because Anthony was Thor’s friend, too.</p><p>And as much as Loki wished he could obtain the apple himself, his heart tugged him back toward the penthouse. He was needed more here, and Thor would have better luck at success than Loki ever could hope for.</p><p>Loki watched as Thor moved for the elevator, hand outstretched and already calling for Mjölnir, and then he let his seiðr whisk him back to where he most wanted to be.</p><p>—</p><p>That night was a difficult one. Anthony was restless, nasty coughs keeping him from sleep. Loki stayed with him through it, holding Anthony in his arms and propping the mortal against his chest to relieve some of the pressure, making it easier for him to breathe.</p><p>Anthony protested weakly a few times at first, not wanting Loki to get sick as well, but Loki would hear none of it. For if Thor did not succeed…</p><p>No, that was unthinkable.</p><p>Regardless, Loki would not leave Anthony to suffer alone, not when he could still offer some relief. For even if this <em>were</em> only a small discomfort rather than a deadly illness Loki would still stay with him, still want to help in any way that he could– because he loved Anthony with all that he was, and to see him suffer was harder than anything.</p><p>So Loki spent the night in wakefulness, listening to Anthony’s harsh, uneven breaths, and holding his hand over Anthony’s scarred chest to feel the beat of his heart. It still felt strong despite the sickness that ravaged Anthony’s body, and if he closed his eyes, Loki could almost believe that everything was all right.</p><p>Despite his faith in Thor, Loki’s thoughts were plagued with memories of Odin’s displeasure, of harsh words that destroyed any remaining hope for fondness. Thor would not easily be able to get what Anthony needed, but he would prevail.</p><p>He had to.</p><p>The morning came slowly, and the shadows began to feel overwhelming– but Thor returned with the rising sun.</p><p>Loki went to the roof the moment JARVIS announced his brother’s arrival, knowing he looked a mess from a difficult night but not feeling able to bring himself to care.</p><p>He couldn’t form words as he waited, just staring at Thor with unbridled yearning and a desperation he knew would be visible to anyone watching.</p><p>Thor took a step closer, and smiled. “Odin granted your request, brother,” he said, holding out his hand so Loki could see the golden fruit pressed into his palm. “Anthony will live.”</p><p>Loki’s breath drew in too fast, and he almost choked on it as he lurched forward to take the fruit from Thor’s hands, cradling it between his fingers like it was the most precious item in the world– and in that moment, really, it was.</p><p>“How?” he asked, tearing his gaze from the apple to stare up at Thor with wide eyes.</p><p>“I was fortunate to speak in front of father <em>and</em> mother, as well as many others,” Thor explained. “They could not deny you this, not after Heimdall confirmed that your words are true, and that you were not lying about Tony’s state. I apologise that to convince them of the necessity I needed to make negative claims of your character, stating that Tony has tempered you in recent years, and that were you to lose him—”</p><p>“You do not need to apologise, Thor,” Loki interrupted quickly. “You only spoke true.”</p><p>Loki knew that if Anthony died, he would likely tear worlds apart– Midgard, Asgard, and everything in between. But now, with <em>this</em>, that pain was far less likely to ever come to pass, and he stared up at Thor with complete and utter gratitude.</p><p>“Thank you, brother,” Loki said, stepping in and using one arm to pull Thor into a hug. “I believe I am in your debt.”</p><p>Thor seemed surprised, but it only took half a moment before his arms wrapped around Loki and drew him close.</p><p>“There is no need to thank me,” Thor said thickly, his face pressing into Loki’s hair. “And in return, I only wish for your happiness.” Then Thor drew back, and offered Loki a smile. “Now go. Go and save your human’s life, and afterward we will share a drink to celebrate.”</p><p>Loki did not need to be told a second time– both hands curled around his precious prize, he used his seiðr to take him back to the penthouse. He almost went straight toward the bedroom, but a moment’s hesitation had him moving toward the kitchenette instead, so that he could cut the apple into smaller pieces which would be easier on Anthony’s sore throat. That done, he then hurried to the bedroom, eager to end his love’s suffering.</p><p>Anthony was awake when Loki entered, and even though he still looked like he had one foot in Valhalla he still smiled when he looked up.</p><p>“Good morning,” Loki said gently.</p><p>“Morning,” Anthony replied. “I don’t know about good, though. Still feel fucking awful.”</p><p>“I believe that I… can help with that.”</p><p>Loki perched on the edge of the mattress, and offered Anthony the sliced fruit. Anthony propped himself up on his elbow to get a better look– and then he blinked down at the proffered plate, as if it was taking him a few seconds to recognise what was on it.</p><p>“Oh,” he said. “That… looks tasty, Lokes, but. I don’t suppose there’s any chance of some soup?”</p><p>Loki felt something freeze in his chest, but he drew in a deep breath. After all, this was a subject he had yet to even broach with Anthony. There was every possibility that he did not even know what the apple was, and was only asking for something more comforting to eat in what he believed to be his final hours.</p><p>“No, don’t you see?” Loki said. “This is a golden apple, from the garden of Iðunn herself. It will heal you as if the sickness was never there, and in the same moment it will lengthen your years so that you will live as long as if you were born Aesir.” Loki swallowed. “You will live as long as <em>me</em>.”</p><p>Anthony frowned. “I’m not sure that I—”</p><p>“Anthony, I know that this is a difficult choice,” Loki said. “I know– but please, this is better, this is– please, I can’t lose you. I know that it’s selfish, but I—”</p><p>“Loki,” Anthony interrupted, speaking slowly. “You do… realise that this is just a cold, right?”</p><p>“I know,” Loki said again. “I know, and I know that you’re dying. But this will make you better, don’t you see? This will make it so that we never have to be parted, so that death will never take you from me like this. It will make it so that we can grow old together, so that the years we could have will not be cruelly stolen from us. Anthony, I love you, and I wish to spend the rest of my life with you. Please, <em>please</em> consider it.”</p><p>“Loki, I’m not dying,” Anthony said firmly. He still sounded confused, his mind still a little muddled– but on that point, Anthony seemed certain. “I mean, I’ll eat the apple anyway, if– well, if that’s what you want. But I promise, as much as it feels like it sometimes, this cold is <em>not</em> going to kill me<em>.</em>”</p><p>Loki blinked, feeling like he had just stepped into a dream where the air was heavy and not quite everything made sense. “You’re <em>not</em> dying?” he whispered.</p><p>“Oh, Lokes, no,” Anthony said, reaching up to run his fingers over Loki’s cheek. “A cold is… well, it feels like the worst thing ever, but everyone knows it’s not. Pretty much everyone gets them, especially during winter. They make it feel like your limbs are really heavy and your head is made of cotton, like you can’t breathe out of your nose and like the world is coming to an end, but they’re not deadly. They just suck. I’ve had like three a year my whole life.”</p><p>Loki could feel a blush rising to his cheeks, but the relief that coursed through him overpowered any embarrassment. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Anthony’s shoulders as best he could, given the way he was lying, and buried his face into the curve of Anthony’s neck.</p><p>“Uh, Loki, you might—”</p><p>“I don’t care,” Loki said, only holding Anthony closer. “Even if I can catch your Midgardian cold, I don’t care. I just want to hold you, now. I just—”</p><p>“Aw, Lokes,” Anthony said. “I love you too, you know? And I am so flattered that you would go all the way to Asgard to get that apple for me, but it really wasn’t—”</p><p>“Thor retrieved it,” Loki interrupted, still feeling a little weak.</p><p>“You asked <em>Thor?”</em></p><p>“I knew that they would never give it to <em>me</em>, and besides,” Loki said, his tone softening. “I did not wish to leave you.”</p><p>Anthony softened at that as well. “I’m sorry you went through that,” he said, his expression painted with guilt. “I didn’t realise, or I would have… actually, hey, JARVIS? Why didn’t you explain—”</p><p>“I believed it would be beneficial for you, if Mr Liesmith went through with his plan,” JARVIS said, and although he did not sound entirely regretful, he <em>was</em> apologetic. “I apologise, Mr Liesmith, for not easing your pain.”</p><p>“You are forgiven, JARVIS,” Loki said easily. “You are right. As awful as this experience was, I cannot deny that it has borne fruit.”</p><p>Anthony rolled his eyes at that, but tugged at Loki’s arm to both pull himself more upright and draw Loki closer in the same movement.</p><p>“Even though I’m not dying,” he asked, “do you still want me to eat it? The, uh. The fruit, I mean.”</p><p>“Of course,” Loki said easily, breathlessly. “I hadn’t thought that you might– I know that this isn’t something we’ve talked about, and that it’s a lot to think on. You’ll live longer than any of your human friends—”</p><p>“But it would also mean that you won’t live longer than me,” Anthony interrupted. “And that I won’t grow old and grey while you’re still young.”</p><p>Loki nodded, hope blooming in his chest. “Yes,” he said. “It would.”</p><p>“Then my answer is still the same,” Anthony replied. “Loki, if it means that I can never catch another cold ever again, then I will eat that without hesitation– but that’s not the only reason why. I mean… if the price of spending <em>your</em> whole life together was having a cold every day, I would still do it. Because I love you Lokes, and I want to be with you for as long as you want to be with me.”</p><p>Loki smiled wide and bright, and his voice caught as he asked, “Really? Even if it meant you felt like you were <em>dying?”</em></p><p>“Oh, please, I was totally downplaying,” Anthony huffed. “I’ve <em>been</em> dying. I know what it feels like, and trust me. It does not even come <em>close</em> the horror of having a cold.”</p><p>Loki laughed then, overwhelmed with happiness, the elation almost making him feel giddy as he leaned forward, his hand cupping the side of Anthony’s neck. Anthony turned away from a kiss, probably still worried that Loki might catch his not-quite-deadly disease, but Loki didn’t mind. And when his lips landed on Anthony’s flushed cheek, he let them linger for a moment.</p><p>And this time, when Loki slid beside him in the bed and held him close, Anthony did not protest. He pressed into Loki’s side even as he reached for the first piece of apple, clearly realising the simple truth of the matter—</p><p>Cold or not, Loki wasn’t going to let Anthony go. Not for anything.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You know, Asgard isn't going to be too happy about all this. But it'll be fine, Loki will figure something out. Probably.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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